| so as not to let this moment pass unmarked |
[Apr. 20th, 2007|12:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  disbelieving/yay? | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Gwen Stefani--Sweet Escape | ] |
well ladies, as of right now, this very moment--I am finished my undergraduate degree.
The last t's are crossed and I's are dotted on my last theory project ever--which I think I should get a pat on the back for, if only because I succeeded in completing a whole term's worth of work in just three days.
Done done done!!!!
The euphoria that I have been keeping in check since my recital is starting to swell, and this time, I don't have to keep it down. I'm going to go out for celebratory brunch and ice cream, and then sit in the sun and work on my tan--it's 20 degrees here :)
Now all that's left is to pack up, and come home!!
and while it won't be 20 degrees in st. John's, I'm happy to exchange the weather for some time with you. can't wait to catch up!!
See you soooooon!
Erin, the EX-music student
(PS: I'm getting a tattoo on sunday :) |
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| ........it's overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr |
[Apr. 16th, 2007|12:57 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  stunned/astonished | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the silence roaring in my ears | ] |
....
it's done.
I survived.
bachelor of music? check.
now a week of frantic cleaning and theory projecting before heading home.
and absolutely NO more horn for a long while.
..............
wow. |
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| R-day |
[Apr. 15th, 2007|10:30 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Amelie Soundtrack | ] |
Well, here it is. I don't know how it happened, but the big day has finally, inexorably, arrived.
recital day!!!
in less than 12 hours, I will be on stage alone in pollack hall, performing my little heart out for my bachelor's degree.
How it's going to turn out still seems like a blank; i mean, logically, I have no reason to worry. I'm feeling good, everything has gone really well in rehearsal...but then again, the figure skaters always land the quads in the warm ups and then can't get it together to land more than a double in the competetion. I've never done a solo recital before--even though the dress rehearsal was perfect, I have no idea if I'm going to get onstage, see everyone out there and start going "jerli dvj wpieubwfc j!!!!AHHHHH!!!" and run away vommitting blood.
But then i have moments where I don't think that will happen......moments in which I actually believe I will ENJOY myself onstage; delight and entrance the audience; play competently and in control. I want to hang onto those moments.....and NOT drop dead on stage.
So, anyhow, I've been waiting for this allll year--and for the three years before now, too.
get excited. this time tomorrow I'll be drinking latte's and living easy.
as I get ready, warm up, and do my hair, I keep thinking "today is just another day I get to play. I'm not playing for them anymore....I'm playing for me".
hahaha. I couldn't even watch centre stage last night...it made me too nervous/sad.
but anyway. see you in 10 days, girls..............hopefully this experience will be a good one. |
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| luck o the erin |
[Mar. 17th, 2007|03:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  buzzed but...working | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | shakespeare in love soundtrack | ] |
So, today marks exactly 4 weeks to my recital.
4 weeks, and my McGill career is over.....4 weeks to graduation and freedom.
So what am I doing right now? Sitting in the library, working hard to finish my final projects? Locked in a practice room, perfecting passages for my recital? Or even sitting in a pub, relaxing with a single st.Patrick's day pint, enjoying the jovial atmosphere before going home and having a much needed early night?
Nope. I'm sitting at home, alone, wearing a green hoodie and my pajama pants, drinking home-made green alcoholic milkshakes whilst obstensibly trying to do a theory assignment but actually watching Shakespeare in Love again.
.....
that's what happens on st. patricks day when you are tired, broke, with too much work to do, but there's creme de menthe and bailey's in the cupboard and vanilla ice cream is on sale at the corner store.
who needs to stand outdoors in the snow (which obstinately keeps on coming and coming)for two hours trying to get into some packed bar full of belligerent faux-irish? I can have fun here alllllll by myself.
just me and bartok and joseph fiennes and electric milkshakes.
cheers my dears. if I live through the next four weeks, I'll see you on the other side.
UPDATE: it really bothers me when I remember that gwyneth paltrow is american rather than british. she's british in all of my fav movies--it's like being doused with a bucket of cold water when you hear her voice in the movie commentary and it's all flattened out and drawly rather than uppitty and pretty and england-ish. and yes. this realization DOES mean that I've moved on from watching the movie to re-watching the movie plus commentary. god.
and also: cake works surprisingly well in the blender with ice cream. fact. |
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| it's vacation? really? |
[Feb. 18th, 2007|01:59 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted...and yet, awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sex and the City "dramatic" music | ] |
Its two AM and I'm sitting here at steve's computer, repeatedly increasing the amount of nesquick in my glass of milk and munching on cheese toast. Behind me, steve is packing some stuff into a duffel, and on the couch in the living room, my brother is passed out (carefully rolled onto his side), sleeping off the effect of a post-audition night out.
That's right, folks--it's the first night of the first mcgill vacation I've had during which I'm not coming home (though you'd never know it was a holiday, judging from the tableau I just desrcibed). I'm going to Toronto for four days...starting tomorrow at 8:00 AM.
Urgh.
My brother was in town today and yesterday for an audition, and once steve and I decided that toronto was the getaway destination of choice (a combination of not having the time to go back to st. John's, the fact that we haven;t really spent any time in the city he considers home and brazil/cancun/dominican being too expensive) we figured out that taking the train both ways would be way more expensive then just renting a car...and since andrew has to go back to the t dot tomorrow anyhow, he's going to split with us the cost of driving him back there.
It seemed like a smart plan at the time....it always does....and then, inevitably, the night before we are to leave, the clock hits two, I'm still awake and exhausted and stuffing my face so that i can stay concious to finish packing, and I realize that I'm the one who has to stare intently for hours at a highway 6 lanes wide full of drivers conspiring to kill me.
I arrive at this point of realization about 5 minutes ago.
Living on the mainland is nice, in terms of driving, it really is--you get a sense of freedom climbing into a car here that you don't when you're in st. John's--possibly having to do with the fact that you know you can go somewhere other than clarenville. You can go to toronto, or disneyland, or seattle, or wherever, as long as you have the gas and the time. It's definitely a cool sensation. However, if I'm going to continue with these exploratory road trips in my all-too-rare holidays from school, I'm going to insist that steve get his liscense--the getaway driver needs a backup. We need to take shifts or something. Right now, he gets to sit shotgun the whole way, eating donuts and dozing.
I wish I were coming home, but since it's so close to my recital, i decided there really wasn;t the time to make the money worth it. I have to be back in montreal by friday to have a rehearsal with my accompanist, and if I were going home, that would cut the trip down to 7 days rather than 11, so this time, the east coast pilgrimage is out I'm afraid. However, toronto will be nice, I think, for the brief time we're going there...I'm going to try not to think about school, eat lots of good and unusual food, and enjoy speaking my native language while still being understood in stores and public places. Toronto holds happy memories for me, as all the times I've been there have been times of carefree fun--in the summer after IB finished, getting my belly button pierced with meg, frolicking in the sun, and of course, this halloween (speaking of which, meg, I want to drop your uncles a long overdue thank you note and bottle of wine while I'm there--could you please email me their street address?). Hopefully these four days will be restful ones.
Is it your midterm break there now too, or is it next week?
Anyhow. I'm going to anticlimactically end this email without coming to any semblance of a conclusion or point. Oh well. Carrie Bradshaw I'm not--not every series of events and thoughts can be condensed into a neat, catchy little narrative ending with a great screen shot. (Yes, Ana--I've finally discovered the joy of sex in the city. How I love when new roomates move in and bring their obsessions in DVD form with them.)
lovelove, all. Thinking of you and hope you're doing well. Let me know you're all okay.
shmerin the travelling erin |
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| I'm a REAL actress!! |
[Feb. 10th, 2007|02:03 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | exhausted/exhillarated | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | energetic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Anthing and everything Alanis--it's the show's theme | ] |
Vagina Monolgues opened tonight!!
Just me, performing on stage for an auditorium packed with 700 people....
it was quite a rush.
I think I've been bitten by the acting bug...New York is calling out to me, beckoning with sequined gloves...
oh well. I can't cross the border anyway, seeing as i have no passport. So I guess I'm safe from my own self destructive urges to run away and be a broadway queen for now, at least.
Although...when you think about it....compared to music, acting isn't THAT much more of a soft option in terms of life plans....
*grin*
Aside from just enjoying the sheer experience of going out onstage and being completely unafraid of performing (for once...I get SO much more nervous when horn is involved--possibly because the people who hear me play horn have expectations for me), to be able to successfully do this show tonight represented a larger accomplishment for me; I saw the show at mcgill for two years running, and last year, as I sat there, watching others enact it, I said to myself "Next year, i want to be in this show". So, time passed...I auditioned, got called back, got the role, rehearsed, rehearsed, prepared, rehearsed, and tonight, fulfilled my goal and did a good job. I actually saw something I wanted, pursued it, and got it. Tick mark next to that one on the list. The fact that I was able to actually follow through on something I wanted makes me feel very positive and empowered.
anyway. miss you guys. wish you could have been here to see it; you would have laughed!!
3 more shows to go...! |
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| it's all down hill from here.... |
[Jan. 31st, 2007|09:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  rejuvenated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Ewazen--Grand Valley Fanfare | ] |
I just had my first, official debut as a horn player with the McGill Symphony Orchestra, playing principal in tonight's opera. It's different than it would be in St. John's--here, there was no one in the audience to hear me and specifically me play....but steve is coming tomorrow, so that will help. Don't worry, guys--I kept a copy of the program so I'll be able to prove I did it later :)
It went pretty well, all in all. I have three more shows to try and make it better, at any rate.
The rest of the evening (since I'm only in the first half, our opera being only an hour) found me in my kitchen, watching centre stage, burning incense and candles as I made fruit and nut muffins and lemony cakes to celebrate Imbolc, or the entering into of the last quarter of winter--the re-welcoming of the sun to the earth. I really think I'm more than a little pagan, sometimes.
Miss you folks. Hope the sun re-enters into all of YOUR lives soon...I hear you're buried in snow over there.
*sulks* wish we had snow days here.
take care, all....
lovelove
shmerin. |
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| insult to injury |
[Jan. 14th, 2007|07:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  owww my stomachhh/life | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | dreamgirls | ] |
....I just discovered that the soy crisps that I thought were health food and that I've been eating as if food were going out of style for the past 16 hours are actually pure protein.
...300 grams of protein in like half a day.
ouch. this will not be pretty. |
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| another day, another dollar |
[Jan. 13th, 2007|09:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained and hurt | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | bob marely, I think? something annoyingly upbeat | ] |
thanks for your kind words of support.
I just feel like I'm holding the house together here all on my own, and it's hard when you have no help--i.e, parents to bail you out or lessen the load.
Since we found out robyn was pregnant, not much has gotten done domestically...she's sorta in shock, totally ineffectually puttering around the house and the city at large, enjoying all the attention she's getting. The house is DISGUSTING--not just messy but dirty. that situation wasn;t helped by the fact that there's a nasty gastro-intestinal flu going around the city, and natalie caught it, so she spent tues/wednesday throwing up and being miserable. robyn promptly came down with it too--so I relocated to steve's house for the week cause I REALLY can't afford to lose two days of my life to being incapacitatingly sick right now. I tried to look after them, as well as tidy the house, and get robyn ready to go back home (she's movin back to nova scotia on tuesday) on TOP of classes, practicing, orchestra rehearsals (oh yeah, by the way, I am playing principal in the orchestra...happy news that was eclipsed by the rather more dramatic events of the week) vagina monologues rehearsals, kickboxing etc.....it's just hard. I feel guilty that I can't do more, becaue I DO have to look after my own life...but I'm finding it especially hard because I don't really think robyn fully comprehends how serious her situation is; the whole thing rubs me the wrong way. However, she IS my friend and I want the best for her, so I am trying to swallow my disapproval and do the best for her I can.
Then, a friend of robyn's approaches me yesterday at school and informs me that she is holding an un-announced surprise baby shower for robyn THAT NIGHT--and that 30 people were going to be showing up on my doorstep circa 7 pm. it was 5, I would be in rehearsal till 8, and then I had plans...what was I supposed to do? I couldn't rush home and clean for another girls surprise party, even if I wanted to, because of my own comittments. plus, as far as I knew, robyn was still throwing up violently. 30 people coming to my bacteria infested, smelly, dish ridden house? I advised the girl to cancel the party plans...and she literally acted as if I was the worlds bigest stick in the mud. that's the thing; in montreal, I ALWAYS get stuck with the job of being the bad cop. SOMEONE has to think of consequences, practicality, and to plan ahead; and that someone usually ends up being me, as those things are not my roommates strong suits, as you may have gathered. And because I'm always the one who has to voice the reality of the situation, people think I'm like the anathema of fun. Like I'm this cold, cranky granny. Just because I happen to be smart, have opnions, and say what no one wants to hear!! I HATE that!! I hate being pigeonholed into this role. I'm supposed to be just as high flying and fun loving as any student--but instead, I get stuck playing the VERY UNPOPULAR position of frumpy mom. I HATE THAT.
so, ontop of being made to feel like I was the root of all evil, I came home late at night to a house full of boisterous strangers (they had the party anyway, which made me look even more inflexible and fun-hating), an email detailing my spoiled cousin's first week in eating disorder rehab in florida--her heart was in danger of stopping, so they sent her away to a special hopsital--and a message from mom and dad, telling me they had to put my cat down.
that was pretty much all I could handle.
now I'm just trying to plow ahead, get the shit done that has to be done...and anyway,your good wishes counted and made me feel a little better.
I hope you're all doign well in your first few weeks of school. the finish line is coming up fast for some of us, at least, right?
I'll be in touch soon, I hope...those of you who have long distance phone plans, feel free to call if you ever feel like talking/ranting about YOUR lives. I always love to listen and I want to keep in better touch. 514-848-9965.
take care, all. |
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| well. for the sake of posterity, if nothing else |
[Jan. 13th, 2007|01:31 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | defeaning silence. | ] |
my cousin is in anorexia rehab in florida.
my roomate is pregnant, but it looks like the baby is healthy, despite heavy first trimester drinking and carrying on.
and my cat died. |
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